每一天 我的心慢慢的变冷 我都在想 我应该接受吗 

Will you?

I remember those days when I used to write every single day, pen down every single details whether or not it is meaningful, interesting, worth it or not. Definitely worth it no matter what as at the end of the day, even if there is no one care reading my blog as I will always come back and read through my old posts. Somehow, I find myself again.

One of my favourite YouTubers now is Itsjudyslife : ) Judy and Benji has a daughter named Julianna, and I have been sort of watch her growing up, albeit online. She seems like my far faraway baby relative. They upload new vlogs up every single day and I'm actually amazed & enlightened by the idea. Imagine them having the camera on their hand almost, if not all the time. They have managed to record all the precious moment which wouldn't have been captured if they do not vlog, such as Julianna's first crawl, first time calling Judy mama etc.

So here I am.... Thinking of this.. Most probably getting a new website done, and also starting to vlog  in YouTube. Anyone care to read or watch my vlog? Hmm? 

It is not okay

It is not okay, to know that they are not okay, albeit their disguise

That these memories will somehow fade, little by little.

The essence is still there, yet it is no longer possible

To revive what had been so perfect in our lives.

So I thought the other day, if I have a time traveller machine and I have the chance to be with someone, to travel to some exact moment or date...if I have the chance to make a vital change, so vital that it will change everything now

If I have to let go all the goodness I am blessed with now

If that will make a difference, I would certainly be up for it.

I don't want to be a nice ,shiny new wallet. But empty on the inside, penniless.

But clown , is all I am inside, who am I trying to impress or fool but myself?


To know that they re still worried about me bothers my mind a lot, how disappointed do I feel towards this lifeless soul

If she can't even breathe happiness? And where have all the positive energy drained into....

It is not okay, it is certainly not...


Close my eyes, and I can still remember very clearly, I can still smell those days, I can still hear the laughter, the scream, the ups and downs, the dine out the homecook the everything 

Have you changed?

Have you turned into someone who no longer laugh at every little thing

Have you turned into someone who no longer dare to achieve or dream big dreams

Have you turned into someone who no longer believe in the beauty and miracles of life

Have you turned into someone who no longer wake up each day feeling afresh and ready for a brand new day.. not knowing what will happen next but yet anticipating life...

Have you changed? 

If you see no vision of yourself as a being in someone's presence, leave with no hope that there is a "you" in his future.

Will it change this time? Can I have the chance please... Please?

夜深了 睡的也该睡了吧

:(